Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

What are the reasons why am I so tired before my period?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I see through liars

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Why are people with borderline personality disorder so capable of ripping someone apart with their words?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I can count

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Can you share any "backstage pass" experiences you have had at concerts?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Is it common for girlfriends to have close male friends who are single and not related to them?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I can read

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Trump’s budget puts Huntsville-made spacecraft on the chopping block - AL.com

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Trump asks Congress to pull $9.4 billion in funding for NPR, PBS and foreign aid - Axios

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

What if Supergirl was a baby and not a teenager when she left Krypton? Who do you think will find her? What do you think things would be like?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

TSA shares travel warning for Costco members - TheStreet

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand how hurricane paths work

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Can an astrologer predict that someone is in a physical relationship before marriage?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have a reading level above third grade

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

What were some things that the ancient Greeks excelled at compared to the Romans?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Russia launches aerial assault on Kyiv days after Ukraine’s audacious drone attack on bomber fleet - CNN

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Report: Patriots have no plans to release Stefon Diggs - NBC Sports

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Why do I feel like something bad is going to happen to me?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Rory McIlroy makes an 8, barely breaks 80 in missing cut at RBC Canadian Open - NBC Sports

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Channel Island pharmacists confirm digestion drug shortage - BBC

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.